Sharpies!

The shoulder, the forearm, the rear, and the belly.  What do all of these body parts have in common, you might ask?  Well I shall tell you.  These are the angry body parts of a man, a proud man who laughs at pain and makes suffering his chambermaid.  The parts of that Man's man that, for some unknown reason, were viciously perforated with none other than a malicious mechanism of murderous mal-intent.  Oh yes, such an instrument is nothing to be trifled with in the hands of the one.  As he/she looks at you, you think "I didn't sign up for this"...but then you realize that you actually did sign up for this.  In fact, you paid a fortune for it.  That unmistakeably devilish look in a first year medical student's eyes when they finally get the chance to inflict pain.  The look that says "this is going to hurt you way more than in hurts me".  Yes, I was the victim of such cruelty and masochism today.  As the needle ripped through flesh to deliver that fluid spawned from the fiery pits of hell itself (saline solution, actually very harmless and really no stinging.  I'm just being dramatic) a single tear fell from my eye as if to scream "WHY,  OH WHY ME?"  "WHAT have i DONE to deserve SUCH CRUELTY?". 

But wait, what light through yonder window breaks?  It is the East, and revenge...sweet revenge is the sun.  For, in the moment of suffering behind the recently closed door of the padded room of Injections 101, a window opens, and the shimmering light of triumph beams in ever so brightly!  For behold, my perforated parts would soon be avenged!  "My how the tables have turned", for it was my turn, and oh how sweet was that turning".  I could feel the excitement swell up inside me.  That nervous excitement, the kind you feel while going 100 mph on the freeway without getting pulled over, cuz you know it's bad but it's oh so fun (not that I've ever done that... I'm just saying).  Anyway, it was exciting.  I could feel the skin tighten as if to say "No way man!" only to give way to the exquisite sharpness that was the needle.  I removed the needle thinking that my purpose had been served and revenge was mine....only to hear, "Good job, that didn't even hurt at all."  Such painful words.  Betrayed once again, I was.

Ok, some of that may have been exaggerated a little bit,  but the concept is true.  We finally got to play with needles today!  You would be amazed at how many students had issues with needles.  Well, maybe you wouldn't if you have a problem with needles.  I guess I should say I was amazed at how many students had issues with needles.  We got through it successfully though.  13 weeks in, and I think I'm realizing just how much I've learned...and how much I still have to learn before I get to call myself a doctor.  Anyway, back to studying!

This just in, I have a test tomorrow!!

This study break is brought to you by "Diet Dr. Pepper.  It really does taste more like regular Dr. Pepper", and Necrosis.  Are you tired of having all of that "Healthy Tissue" on your insides?  Does the fact that your organs are functioning optimally ever get you down?  Well have we got the solution for you!  Introducing the new and improved Necrosis!  This recently reformulated formulation comes in several varieties and flavors to fit your necrotic needs.  But that's not all, if you call within the next 5 minutes, we'll throw in a viral infection and suppressed immune system for only 59.99 plus shipping and handling.  Necrosis, it's what healthy tissues get when they are just plain sick and tired of being healthy!  We now return you to your regularly scheduled study time!

It's official

It's official!! I've incorporated medical school into my dreams!  The other night I dreamt about lipids traveling in my blood stream... I dreamt I could feel them coursing through my veins after I had eaten a blueberry muffin from Costco.  It was very dramatic.  But I guess that means that I am officially in medical school.  Well that, and the fact that I have a student ID AND a white coat that say I belong here!! I am finally growing accustomed to life here I suppose. 
On another note, I officially passed my first "mid block".  Let me tell you that studying for exams...oh, and taking exams is stressful!  This is nothing like a regular college course where you have a whole semester to learn a few topics...oh no.  This is now undergrad on steroids mixed with PCP and crack!  It seems like whole semesters are crammed into a few hours of lecture.  I am surviving, however, and in addition to surviving, I'm actually learning stuff about medical things!  Professionalism blablabla.  In addition to all the medical mumbo jumbo that I've learned so far...I've also realized some things that I probably shouldn't do.  As I was taking my mid block exam and deciding whether a direct inguinal hernia would be seen at the superficial inguinal ring or the deep inguinal ring, I found myself chuckling.  "Eric, what is so funny?"  I said to myself (yes, I talk to myself sometimes). Then out of nowhere from the voice in my head explodes  "Encarnaaaaaacioooon, En- car- na -ha - ha - ha - ho - ho - cion!"  I let out one of those nasal laughs, but I made sure to cut it extremely short (so as to not disturb my fellow test taking amigos).  I was actually singing that song in my head while I was taking a test!!  I couldn't believe it.  You see, I had grown tired of studying the night before, and Nacho Libre happened to be on TV.  I promise I only watched for a little while, but at that moment I learned that I should not be watching Nacho Libre the night before a test, and I quickly diverted my thoughts to more pertinent matters, such as gluconeogenesis pathways....some people's kids...I tell ya. 
 

To Study or not to Study??

CRUNCH!  That's the sound a ribcage makes when it is being pried open with a chisel and hammer.  I expected to be hearing that sound at least some time during my medical career...but I never thought I'd be so absolutely elated to be the one causing the sound.  The human body is truly amazing!! I must admit I am slightly conflicted about anatomy lab though.  On the one hand, I am learning soooo much.  On the other hand, a man had to die in order for me to be able to be learning sooo much.  Thank you, cadaver man! 

I've made a few realizations in the two weeks of medical school now under my belt.  One, I don't know a dang thing...Two...neither does anyone else!  There might be a student here or there that studied a little harder and has memorized the names of a few muscles or the metabolic pathway of lipids in the body...but when it comes down to it, we are like babies experiencing the world for the very first time...  Does that make anyone out there nervous?  Future doctors are like babies?  I wouldn't be too worried about it.  If there is one thing that medical students and babies have in common besides getting super cranky when hungry, is that of an unusual capacity to learn new things at an astoundingly accelerated rate.  Fear not future patients!!  You WILL be in good hands by the time I'm done here!!!

What's up DOC?

There comes a time in everyone's life where all of your decisions, good or bad, are laid out before you in this sort of road map of accomplishment or regret.  When this happens you are either filled with a strange eerie anticipation for what will come next, or absolute dread for the days to come.  You've made your bed, so to speak, and now you have to sleep in it.Well, I can tell you my friends, that my bed is filled with an eerie anticipation and desire to begin this next chapter in my life...Excited and feeling wholly unprepared for the privilege and burden of taking on the healer's art, but I guess that's why I'm going to medical school, right?

I was told today that I am now a professional...or at least on my way to becoming one.  Professional...they actually used that word.  It filled me with a sense of responsibility and maturity...  I was on my way to becoming a respected and productive member of society... and all while this was happening, a huge spider out on the prowl descended from the ceiling onto the professional shoulder of another medical student sitting in front and to the left of me.  It promptly scampered from the shoulder down the man's chest.  "Dude!!! You've got a huge spider on your shoulder!!!  kill it...KILL IT" I whisper shout.  As the words leave my lips, the unfortunate arachnophobic sole begins this jitter bug dance of jerks and squirms in his chair that I could not help but laugh out loud....Maturity?  Responsibility?  HA!  Well, it is the only the first day of medical school....